Of Torchwood and Turret Fire
by abcoolness
Summary: A light prank from Tosh leads her and Owen spiralling into the world of Portal with only the writing on the walls to help them get out again.
1. Prologue

Ok, I got bored on the bus ride home and started to rethink about fun fanfics I'd read in the past. I remembered Eternal Destiny's 'Of cakes and Computer Games' which is a cross on Portal and Stargate SG-1 and decided, what else would be fun to cross Portal with. This came up. Hope you have fun reading ^^

Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with Torchwood or Portal, otherwise GLaDOS would be hanging in my room, Tosh and Owen would still be very much alive and dating, Ianto would also be very alive and locked with Jack in my cupboard :)

And I'm just gonna warn you, I've only ever played Portal, and all the rest is me guessing with a little tiny bit of research.. If it's wrong, get over it

* * *

Prologue

Owen reached down next to him where the bright orange container sat, trying desperately to reach it without ever looking to where it was or lean so far he'd fall off the chair. It wasn't anything particularly dangerous, or even from another world. Every so often he liked shooting things where if he died it wouldn't be a total loss, so Half Life ended up right up his alley. The box was simply the Orange Box he'd bought it all in.

"Owen!" Jack called down, making the man jump in his seat, swivelling around to face his boss, accidentally knocking over the box of games he was trying to reach without seeming suspicious. Jack saw it and sighed. "You ever going to get that report to me, or is this going to be another case of you wait so long you've forgotten what it is to start with and I end up with a print out of everything I already had anyway?" he asked critically, Owen groaning.

"I'm on it, I'm on it..." he sighed, facing away from his computer, starting to move back to the Autopsy room he may as well call his own. Ianto passed by, seeing the games scattered across the floor and sighed, starting to pick them up and place them on the desk, noting that only the Half Life games had been taken out of their plastic wrapping. A coffee was left next to the games should Owen decide to return, him moving on to the rest of his mid afternoon round.

He paused at Tosh's desk, glancing to see what she was doing. It seemed to be a screen of coding that passed straight over his head before he noticed that behind it seemed a grassy area that looked more in place in a game rather than anything that would normally need coding.

"Mind if I ask..?" he questioned, placing the coffee down next to her. She looked up quickly to see Ianto and smiled, picking up the mug gratefully.

"It's a game that came with Owens collection once he put it into the system. Steam automatically put it on and it seemed interesting. Certainly more then what he's been doing for the past couple of hours.." she mused, closing the coding box to show a fully fledged space station having been created and coded to fly in a random pattern so it was harder to shoot at, with shielding, weapons and anything else she could make there.

"Nice..." he mused, grinning as the station took half a second to kill someone who'd innocently wandered onto the servers from half way across the map. "I was just thinking.. Could we set up a trap for Owen? With these games I mean." He said, showing the still cellophane wrapped disk of Portal to her. "Find a way to make him learn to stop playing through work?" he asked, handing the box. She gave it a quick look over, smiling faintly.

"I don't see why not." She said calmly, starting to pull up a more familiar screen of the Torchwood computer controls and having a little play.

* * *

The next day as Owen walked through the large cog door into the hub, everything seemed perfectly normal. Tosh was doing some random.. Who knows what, Gwen was out with Rhys again, given days off while the rift was being quiet, Ianto and Jack were in Jacks office, the door shut in the way that anyone who knew what it meant wouldn't go near that door for another hour, at least.

"Hey Tosh." He said, moving over next to her, looking at the screen and giving up on what it said almost before he began.

"Hello Owen." She smiled, looking back to him before trying to hide the smile once more, just in case. "Thought you and I could have a go at one of the games you got the other day together rather then you getting yelled at the whole time. Ianto's idea, hence..." her voice drifted as she looked over to Jacks office, Owen nodding understandingly.

"Well, if you're sure. Want me to kick your arse at Ep 2, or you got something else planned?" he smirked slightly, cocky until the end. She sighed.

"How about one you haven't played?" she asked, showing him the Portal CD, making him blink.

"Tosh, know you're not too great at this, but that's not a 2 player game..." he groaned.

"Why would I suggest it if I hadn't changed something?" she smiled, getting up and moving over to the arcade section Owen had insisted they create, including full holographic generator helmets. She chucked one to him and held one under her arm as she placed the disk into the slot. "Thought I'd add to the experience, so I may have modified it a little." She said, acting more innocent then was strictly necessary.

"You little... Sometimes, I really love that little mind of yours." He grinned, shoving the helmet down onto his head, Tosh doing similar, the two wandering into the specialist chairs, strapping themselves in and letting the games begin.


	2. Getting the Device

Time to start the games... disclaimers still apply :3

* * *

Tosh and Owen awoke with a groan, looking around the small glass cell they'd been placed in as the game helmets transferred their consciousness into the game. Owen was first to his feet, looking around to see the timer counting down over a wall, seeing Tosh slowly sitting up on the supposed bed thing, noting they'd both changed into orange jump suits and hearing the radio playing a tinny yet somehow catchy tune.

"Is this how it's meant to start..?" he asked her, frowning slightly.

"Who knows.. No one's actually played this game before, it's all a little new." She admitted, biting her lip and making Owen groan.

"You started this up and you didn't even try it out??" he questioned. Tosh was about to respond when a female voice started to come from some sort of speaker, cutting her off.

"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Centre. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start however, keep in mind that although fun, and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment centre activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from..." The warning unexpectedly broke off into indecipherably glitched gibberish, accompanied by sparks. "...and back. The portal will open in three... two... one."

"I don't like that voice.." Owen growled slightly, though blinking as the portal opened next to him.

"It didn't sound too helpful did it? And what was the bit we missed?" she questioned as Owen jumped through the portal to appear the other side of the glass cell.

"Found the way out!" He grinned, tapping the glass on her side as if mockingly.

"So I see.." she smiled, following him through and slowly moving on, taking in her surroundings to see the large sign board up on the wall. "0 of 19. Guess we have a way to go yet..." she mused as Owen moved to look at the warning signs beneath, trying to work out what they said.

"Something about boxes.. Something about balls.. Something about flying.. Oooooh, cake!" he grinned, grabbing Tosh by the wrist and through to the door, leaving the tinny tune behind them.

Beyond the door seemed to only lie a large red button and some sort of pipe in the ceiling. An orange dotted line connected the big red button to a large seemingly locked door which bore some kind of a resemblance to the cog door back in the hub. Owen blinked, trying to get the thought out of his head. Generic grey walls, large circular doors, this was meant to be a game, not a representation of work in game form.

"So what now?" he asked Tosh, moving forwards and seeming to set off some sort of motion sensor which let a cube fall from the pipe onto the ground below. "Ahh." He said simply, blinking and moving over to the cube.

"What did you say, something about boxes? Beware for falling cubes maybe?" Tosh asked, smiling in a way that would have shown a smirk that was never there. "I'll guess it goes on the button.." she said, moving and pressing down on it with a foot, seeing the door open and also seeing the new extensions to her legs for the first time. She's seen them on Owen, but didn't really understand what they were for yet.

Owen moved over and started to pick up the box, groaning slightly. "Why do these games always make things heavier then they look..?" he muttered, dumping the cube onto the button and letting the door stay open once Tosh removed her foot.

Owen glanced around as if suspicious, but only seeing the door opening and the line towards it changing to blue. A grin started to form. "Big red buttons to push, rewards only.. Love this ga-" he got cut off and once again the female voice descended down onto them. He grumbled and groaned, not really listening.

"Excellent, please proceed into the chamber-lock after completing each test." Tosh took this as a sign to carry on, grabbing a still grumbling Owen by the arm and moving. She noticed the sparkling blue shield and paused, tapping it lightly to only feel a slight tingle in her fingers. "First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille will vaporise any unauthorized equipment that passes through it. For instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube."

"That would explain it.." she mused, stepping through once Owen had been pushed on, him still annoyed.

"Damn thing likes the sound of its own voice, no help to us whatsoever.."

"Owen, come on. It's just trying to help." She sighed, letting the elevator take them up to the next level.

* * *

  
The door opened, letting the two of them out onto a corridor which seemed to just suddenly end. Owen sighed, moving out to have a look, Tosh staying close behind.

"How are we meant to get down there? Massive drop.." she murmured.

"Well, only one way to find out." Owen said, pushing her off the edge, her only just managing to land on her feet. The heel springs tightened, taking almost all of the force of the jump, making Tosh's eyes widen in amazement.

"These things are incredible.." she murmured, looking to the springs on the end of her feet, Owen doing similar from his perch at the top. "Come on down, feels like you've just jumped off the pathment, nothing.." she smiled, moving to get out the way.

"I was wondering what these were for.." he mused, jumping down next to her and noticing the portal which seemed to be showing a button on the floor. Tosh looked to each side, seeing a cube and a button on each side of two panes of glass, also the door outside another.

"Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 1500 megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-colliding Super-button." The voice rang out once more, making Owen sigh but not make any remark that were too silly.

"So how do we get to the cu- aah!" he said, jumping back a little in surprise as the portal changed with a short whooshing sound to show the sight of the door, still locked.

"We wait." Tosh smiled softly, before blinking as Owen jumped through to the locked door.

"You wait, I'm staying here.. You get the button. Share the job. Teamwork, you know." He grinned, making her groan. He just didn't want to have to pick up another cube.

The scene changed to the cube, her quickly moving in and starting to pull it back through the portal, only just making it before the scene changed, throwing it through to the button and leaving it as Owen cheered for the door opening.

Tosh breathed a sigh of relief, turning to cross back through the portal as it changed away, the voice sounding out again.

"Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber-lock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test."

"Um, Owen?" she asked, knocking on the wall and frowning, seeing him about to leave through the glass.

"Yes Tosh?" he asked, seeming a little bored before seeing where she still was. "Um, Tosh? You think you wanna move? You heard what the voice said.."

"I know! The portal changed before I could get out." She groaned. "Just wait for me. And since when have you been taking on board what it's been saying!"

Owen groaned, leaning against the wall to wait as Tosh made her way out as the portal cycled through again, waiting for her to end up next to him. "Hey, I just wanna be able to press my big red buttons without having to worry.."

"I'm sure you'll be fine." She smiled softly. "Now come on." She said, pushing him over towards the door once more, making sure they were both in before the doors closed, taking them up once more.

* * *

The two stepped out to a platform with a glass wall looking down at the rest of the level below, the warning signs absent on the sign which told them to be in level 2 of 19. The voice started once again, making Owen sigh but his disposition changing as he heard what was being said.

"You're doing, very, well. Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."

"Tosh? You sure this game's safe.. There's a lot of supposed danger happening here." He frowned, watching the blue portals be made down below.

"Even if the character dies we'll be fine. Small shock to the system to let you know, but most likely we'll end up back to normal again anyway." She reassured, him frowning, turning to go down the door to the level which had opened up once the voice stopped talking.

Each of them waited as the portals kept on being created elsewhere until through a small hole in the dividing wall the portal was created onto their side, Owen quickly hopping through followed by Tosh. He saw the device and seemed to instantly work out what it was, jumping down and scooping it up and feeling it somehow almost attaching to his arm. Whatever it was if he accidentally let go he wouldn't drop it anyway.

The female voice started again.

"Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals."

"Ahh yes, now we're in business.." he grinned, starting to wildly make portals around him and in the room as the voice continued

"These inter-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you-" The warning ended in garbled sound and static.

"Um, Owen?" Tosh asked, frowning having been listening to the warnings while Owen had been playing.

"What now? You listened to all that?"

"Someone has to, and seeing as you won't.. Anyway. Don't touch the end of it, don't look at it and don't let it get wet. Oh, and don't do something else, but she cut out again like at the beginning." She said calmly, making Owen groan.

"Typical.." he groaned. "Should I take it we're moving on then?"

"Onwards and upwards! Come on Harper." She smiled, letting him make his own way back up next to her so they could pass through to the next level together.


	3. Nothing to Worry About

I'm back~ Have fun reading and try not to think that this high level of updating is going to continue, nor this high chapter length...

Disclaimers still apply :3

* * *

"Please proceed to the chamber lock. Mind the gap." The female voice intoned as the pair walked out of the elevator. Owen moved over to the 'gap' to see a swimming pool sized hole dug 4m deep below them.

"Gap she says.. Make it seem like we're on the tube and suddenly it's a drop enough to break your ankle.." Owen sighed.

"If we didn't have the heel springs." Tosh added on, looking around to see the orange portal on the other side of the so called gap. "Found the way across." She mused, pointing over to the other side.

"Sounds good." He said calmly, pointing at the wall and making the blue portal to send them across. Once each of them were across, Tosh pointed out the next gap.

"Guess we go to the door. Portals must be 2 way, so we can walk through the orange as well or we wouldn't be able to do this." She said, having a small revelation. Owen was having one of his own, shooting the floor next to the portal that was already there and stepping into it, grinning as he was sent into a infinite loop until the momentum sent him flying out of the circumference of the portal he'd made on the floor. Tosh saw him laying there and groaned as he laughed.

"Love this game.." he grinned, letting Tosh help him back to his feet. "Portals work on the floor too." He said innocently once he as back up, pointing the gun and shooting across to the other side before Tosh had the chance to yell at him for messing around.

"Owen.." she groaned, watching him try to run away through the portal but forgetting how shorter platform were on the other side for him to use for running, falling into the hole described as a gap by the female voice.

"Um.. Oops" he muttered, shooting a portal underneath him to appear next to Tosh once more, the portal seeming to help to right him onto his feet so he wouldn't go through off the floor and land on his butt. "Okay, that was weird.." he muttered, blinking but not complaining.

"Very.." Tosh mused, before shaking her head. "Come on. Let's try and get across without making a fool out of yourself this time." She said, gesturing him to fire the portal device to the other side again and them to get across once more. They crossed the portal across to the other side to have another female voice intrusion.

"Well done. Remember, the Aperture Science 'Bring your daughter to work' day is the perfect time to have her tested."

Tosh and Owen looked at each other, frowning.

"Okay, that wasn't slightly strange..." Tosh murmured, moving through to the elevator, not bothered to slow for the strange feeling of the grille she passed through to get to the elevator.

"No Tosh, that was insane." Owen sighed, following her up to the next level.

* * *

"Welcome to Test Chamber 04. You're doing quite well." The female voice chimed out, Owen growling, seeming to hear a mocking edge to the voice.

"That's it.. We're so gonna destroy you." He glared, looking to see the cameras following them, shooting a portal behind one of them, the portal opening and forcing the camera off the wall and onto the floor. The voice quickly returned.

"Vital testing apparatus destroyed."

"Oh come on, not even complaining?" he groaned, sighing. "And why are the buttons back? I'm sure she said they were dangerous." Carefully he stepped onto the button, seeing the door opening and realising something. "Tosh, stand here." He instructed, moving to the side.

"And the reson you're suddenly bossing me around is..?"

"I've got the portal gun!" he grinned cheekily, moving out the way of the Plexiglas window that was designed to stop people doing what they were planning. Oh the benefits of a computer geek making little changes to make his life easier.

Tosh sighed, stepping onto the button to open the door, Owen firing through to the other side, but the portal refusing to form.

"Huh?" he complained, trying several more times.

"I guess the darker material doesn't allow Portals to be made, only this lighter grey." She said, shrugging as Owen grumbled in complaint.

"It's never that easy, is it..?"

"Nope. Now, if you wouldn't mind looking at the rest of the level for me. Think it's your turn to work it out." She said with a hint of stubbornness Owen couldn't help but follow and find a little sexy, but he'd never admit it.

"There's a box down here." He said, pointing to make a portal appear underneath the cube to make it pop out next to Tosh once more.

"Do you mind! That almost hit me!" she complained. "And they called it a cube, not a box."

"It's not a cube, it's got dents and stuff in it that makes it uncubish, you should know that."

"I'm repeating what the game designers said, not what I believe. Now you move it onto this button and let us move on." She said, getting off of it, stepping onto the cube and jumping off on the other side, moving over to the door.

"Why do I get the heavy lifting..?" he grumbled, starting to play with the portal gun to see if it could do anything useful about now before finding a button which seemed to make the cube leap up and hover in front of the end of the device, cheering loudly. "No more heavy lifting for me!"

"Then you can do all of it for now since it's so easy for you..." Tosh smiled, making Owen pause in his celebrations and shut up, putting the cube down on the button and letting them move on to the next test chamber.

"Once again, excellent work," the voice announced. "As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck."

"**Finally!**" Owen grinned, jumping for joy and running through the door and into the elevator, Tosh grinning at the revelation, laughing and moving to follow him up to the next level.

* * *

Tosh moved out calmly, looking and seeing the sign which said the test chamber number and that there were falling cubes. Owen bypassed all of this to into the room, looking to see two big buttons, two platforms and what looked to be another pit. A portal opened up on one of the platforms.

"Convenient.." he muttered, seeing it out of reach for them without using a portal to get up there.

"There's a cube up there. Guess the other one's in the hole again." Tosh said, moving in next to him. "Your job." She smiled, pushing him forwards.

"Why do I have to do everything?" he groaned.

"You're the one with the device and you seem reluctant to hand it over so..." she grinned, leaning against a wall casually.

"I would if I could..." he muttered, trying to get it off his arm once again and failing. Must be a security device so he wouldn't drop it if he ever fell unexpectedly so it wouldn't break.

One portal was created to send the cube from the pit onto the high platform, him moving up there and throwing the cube down to her, her needing to once again jump out the way.

"Do you mind?? Seriously, those things are heavy!" she complained.

"I was just getting it near the button. You put it on, I'll get the other cube." He reasoned, her sighing, guessing moving it about half a metre wasn't as bad as it could be.

With a quick amount of teamwork the two cubes were in place, the two of them walking into a small room with a glass ceiling.

"Now what?" Owen asked, frowning as he looked around before hearing the small noise of the female voice coming back and yelling out in complaint as she started to speak.

"As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication. Good job. As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three, two-" the voice cut out into static, leaving the two of them looking at each other.

"At least we know it's telling the truth from now on." Tosh shrugged, Owen sighing.

"I have no idea how you manage to see the good side through the crap sometimes Tosh..." he muttered, looking up to see a portal through the glass on the ceiling beyond. "But I found the way out." He said, firing the device at the nearest wall to see a version of them through it below through the glass. "That's quite odd.." he muttered, waving his arms around to see the movement from above.

"I'm more worried about the glass holding then looking strange.." Tosh frowned, before getting a look from Owen.

"If that wasn't the way through and the glass broke, how would the game designers want us to move on?" he asked, Tosh frowning and seeing the logic, nodding and stepping through. She was quickly glad that the game had changed her from wearing the pencil skirt she'd worn when back in the hub as she suddenly started to fall, feeling herself righting to land on her feet once more.

"Well, that was an experience." She said, looking through the glass below her and knocking on it to wave to Owen. He grinned, gesturing for her to move away from the landing spot before coming on through himself.

"Yup. Anyway, moving on." He said, carrying on to the elevator but pausing before it at the blue shining field which was meant to stop 'unauthorised objects' from passing through. "Wonder how this actually works.." he frowned.

"Well, if we ever see any random objects we don't need, maybe you can find out." Tosh said, seeming curious herself. "Now, come on. Who knows what's next."

* * *

The elevator opened onto a new room, the warning signs lighting up what Owen had previously described 'something about balls' and one other Tosh couldn't recognise. The female voice quickly tuned in to help them out.

"While safety is one of many Enrichment Centre goals, the Aperture Science High-Energy Pellets seen to the left of the chamber can and have caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporisation. Please be careful."

"Disabilities such as vaporisation..?" Owen asked slightly incredulously. "I think that's a bit more than a disability, miss!" he called up to the ceiling.

"High energy pellets.. That must be that yellow thing." Tosh said, looking towards the large machine that had just opened and seem to create one of the pellets which started bouncing off the floor where the portal was opening.

"The pellet go in there?" Owen asked, moving and kicking the receiver before wincing with pain.

"I'd guess so." Tosh said, seeing him kick and injure himself with a sigh. "Just make the portal." She said, dragging him back from the receiver just in case. He created the portal where a small spot of orange light hit the ceiling to show them where the receiver was aimed, the pellet bouncing off the first strange machines prongs and towards the portal, making it into the receiver and the whole machine turning off and a platform lowering towards them to help them towards the door.

"Unbelievable! You, _'subject name here'_, must be the pride of _'subject hometown here'_." The female voice rang out, the voice changing to a generic robotic voice for the placeholder parts.

"Mustn't be able to cope with two people in here.." Tosh deduced, Owen glaring up at the ceiling.

"This really isn't helping!" he yelled, sulking over towards the platform and hopping on up to the elevator to the next level.

"These are quite short levels really.." Tosh noted as she joined him through and into the elevator.

"These games are always the same. Start you off really easy and able to do everything, then suddenly throw you in the deep end. You'll see. Give it a few levels and suddenly we'll need to be dodging death every other second. Bet you." Owen said, glancing at Tosh. She looked back.

"How much?" she smiled.

"A days worth of admin."

"Done." She grinned, the two of them shaking on it as the elevator doors opened to the next level.

The level seemed to just consist of one of the pellet creators and an area where a platform would move if it were operational. The voice quickly started to give another brief helping hand as Tosh moved to look at the Test Chamber 07 signs.

"Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the High Energy Pellet, and have therefore been disabled for your safety."

"Yes, this makes a lot of sense. All safety devices have been disabled for your safety..." Owen sighed, watching the pellet bouncing on the wall and leaving a giant scorch mark on the wall. "Ouch!" he hissed, unable to refrain from imagining what it could do to him if he got caught in the path.

"At least it tells you where to fire the portal." Tosh smiled, Owen giving her a look.

"Again with the glass half full approach." He blinking, firing the portal and her being, as usual, correct. The pellet moved into its receiver and starting the platform moving on the other side of the room.

"Good, now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamber-lock" the voice spoke out as if it weren't quite obvious to start, although one part catching Owens attention.

"Unstationary? That's not even a word!" he complained, Tosh groaning.

"Are you going to be like this the whole way through? Come on. Let's just get onto it." She said, looking for the best way to do so slowly before Owen fired at the one spot on the ceiling above the platform where it were possible.

"Tosh" he called, moving over to the orange portal in the floor and looking into it calmly. Tosh got what he was doing pretty quickly and moved over.

"On three?" she asked calmly, taking his hand, but quickly ending up being dragged in as the platform appeared on the other side in the correct place. "Or not.." she muttered, letting it move across to the door, humming softly as it did so. They jumped over into the elevator once more, moving along.

Once in the elevator, Owen started to muse out loud. "So it's quite an easy game really.. We've not really seen any ways to die other than those pellets which are easy as anything to avoid, and the rest can be solved by wandering around aimlessly and looking where the other portal is anyway. Not stopping until it's over now." He grinned. "Wonder how Ianto's doing keeping Jack amused."

"I'll try not to think about them at the moment if you don't mind.." Tosh said dryly, stepping out to the next test chamber where the floor seemed to have turned suspiciously green.

"Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record. Followed by death. Good luck!"

Owen froze as he was walking out the elevator after Tosh, before quickly running over, stopping himself with the handrail and seeing the floor and the liquid underneath.

"You're sure this isn't going to actually kill us, right Tosh?" he blinked, frowning."

"I'm sure."

"Good." Owen said, glancing around suspiciously.

"Well, as sure as you can be without any real tests."

Owen whimpered and started to look around with a small amount of fear on his face. Tosh watched him with a hint of amusement. This could be fun.


	4. Device Two

I do apologise for the delay in getting this out. It was a moment of sheer delight that I first created it, then I got bored. I get bored and I stop doing the things that would make me happy and I go generally insane even more so...

But I'm back! And here with the next 2 test chambers for you to oggle at.

Enjoy~ ^^

* * *

The door opened to a corridor with a set of large stairs where the first step was much too high for them to jump up. Owen moved forwards and looked to see the large sign on the wall next to the steps.

"Test chamber 10, no death yet" Owen mused, seeing the two signs up before hearing the voice coming back.

"Hello again. To reiterate previously-" the voice started to cut out half way through the word into static and crazed unintelligible noises for a few moments "-of momentum." It continued, Tosh pausing.

"You know I'm starting to get the feeling that that voice is programmed to be more helpful than it really is.." she mused, Owen face-palming before groaning as he hit his head with the portal gun, starting a small swearing match which Tosh couldn't help but giggle at.

"Where now?" he asked with a sigh, glaring at Tosh to make her shut up and the two of them stat to think.

"Up the stairs, I would assume." She said, looking up, Owen looking for a moment before back to her.

"You know with these feet springy things or not, I can't jump up that high..." he said, starting to look up and notice the block above them with the orange portal in waiting. "So we portal it.." he smiled, firing at the nearby wall.

"You're starting to get the hang of this.." Tosh smiled, Owen smirking back.

"It's not that hard really." He said, taking a run at the portal, hopping through and making it up with ease, Tosh following him through, almost not quite making it as one foot slipped, but Owen helping her up the rest of the way.

"Next test chamber!" Owen declared, walking through to the next corridor, but not being faced with an elevator, but another situation. "Or not..." he groaned, looking around to see another orange portal high on the wall behind and Tosh seeing a large drop below.

"The voice said something about momentum before." She said, starting to try and work out what it could have been. "We took a run through that last portal and came out as fast as we went in. So maybe it's just momentum that's conserved as we go through these portals, not the direction we face of anything. So if you fire the portal down there and fall into it, you might end up flying across the room, right?" she asked, turning around to see Owen with the blankest face it would be possible to make, Tosh sighing. "You're hopeless." She said, dragging him over next to her, forcing him to make a portal down the hole and jumping into it herself to test it out.

"Wait!" Owen called, but it too late as Tosh was already jumping before him seeing her flying over his head to land on the other side.

"Piece of cake." She grinned, looking back to the stunned look on Owens face.

"Spectacular." The female voice of doom as Owen was starting to get to know her rang out. "You appear to understand how portals affect forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not."

Tosh grinned, taking a small bow at the praise even from the machine, making Owen scowl.

"Outta the way!" he growled, jumping down through the portal to land quite neatly next to her now he'd seen how it worked.

"Jealous much?" Tosh asked with a hint of pride as she moved through to the next part of the same test chamber.

"We get the point miss creepy voice. Momentum happens. Can we move on now?" he called up, seeing the next chamber with a large hole, this time the orange portal being at the bottom of the hole. The two of them jumped slightly as a large section of wall above them started to slide closer to the exit.

"More flying time.." Tosh said, looking around before to Owen to make the portal on the wall section which had moved, Owen rolling his eyes and doing it for the two to jump through and land on the next highest platform area.

"Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals." The voice rang out as the wall section started moving again, the movement cancelling out the previously made portal, Owen starting to twitch at the voice, attempting to tune out.

"You know she is right.." Tosh said, before the voice continued.

"In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out."

"Okay, you see that bit I understood. You science types can't just say it like that, no you have to make everything insane with talk of physics and momentum." Owen groaned, Tosh stifling a giggle at the man before him.

"Let's just go. The next chamber awaits." She smiled, Owen firing a new portal and jumping back down the hole to fly across the sky, Tosh following not long after, sliding to a stop next to the elevator doors.

"Did we just come out of that portal upside-down?" Owen blinked, trying to get his bearings and not doing too well at it.

"We landed the right way up at least." She sympathised, helping push him through to the elevator so they could continue the game.

Jack glanced to Ianto who looked back casually, taking more popcorn from the ever decreasing bowl.

"They're not doing too badly really." He mused, Jack chuckling.

"Tosh is doing everything for them, what do you expect?" he retorted, settling deeper into his seat. "This bet they've settled on, you think that's likely to happen?" he asked casually.

"What, something that's going to try to kill them, that isn't floor or high intensity pellets?" he questioned, his lover nodding as his mouth filled once more with popcorn. "Who knows. Let's find out."

The elevators opened to a large room with one glass wall, them able to look down at the scene below quite easily. The scene below played out what was quite obviously the other half of the portal gun making the orange portals as it span, the whole situation looking a little odd down there.

"I get this gun, deal?"

"Fine, if you have to." Owen sighed, starting to look for a way out of the room before the woman stepped up once more.

"The Enrichment centre promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments the Enrichment centre promises to always provide you with useful advice, For instance the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it."

"Such a joker, isn't she?" Owen said dryly, groaning, Tosh shaking her head in agreement.

"Come on. Ought to get down there at least." She said, looking around as Owen fired a portal at the nearby wall. As he did so the sounds of the orange portal being made occurred, the view before them flashing to change to show a small room with a button in it. Owen glanced to her, shrugging before jumping through, Tosh following quickly behind realising if she left his side she'd never get out of that other room.

"Big red button..." Owen said with that hint of lust in wanting to press it. He looked to Tosh in the most pleading way he could as she started to look around, ignoring him.

"We must be directly underneath where we were just now." She decided, before turning to look at Owen as he coughed to attempt to gain her attention.

"Please?" he asked, starting with his puppy dog look which make Tosh chuckle, her glancing away before her face gave out just how cute she thought he looked.

"If you must." She smiled, Owen cheering and hitting the button quite thoroughly. A ticking sound started to echo through the area, Tosh looking to see a set of doors open that hadn't been before. "Up there." She said as the ticking stopped, the doors shutting once more.

"Must have been on a timer." Owen mused, pressing the button again and firing a portal through the doors. "New room to explore." He smiled, Tosh glancing to him.

"Can't complain." She said calmly, watching the orange portal maker as it span around to face the opposite wall. "Just gotta wait for that." She said, calmly waiting as it fired, slowly turning towards them. The two parted, letting it fire and the two hopping through to the next room calmly.

"And the bouncy light's back.." Owen mused, watching it make the spot on the opposite wall very black. Tosh moved down the stairs, looking out the window to see where they were.

"Fire the portal at the black spot." She said, seeming confident. Owen blinked, but shrugged, not seeing much else they could do in here. He fired as Tosh suggested, before moving next to her to watch. The ball of light seemed to be bouncing all over the place before finally finding its mark and starting off the moving platform.

"And that's where we go next." Owen deduced, Tosh clapping half heartedly, earning a glare from the teammate. He fired at the wall, waiting until there was a platform next to them rather than a drop or the button again, no matter how tempting it was, before the two of them hopped on.

"Finally I get a go with the guns.." Tosh mused as they travelled, hopping off quickly and snatching the device before Owen could get a chance.

"The devices are now capable of creating two linked portals at once." The voice rained down on them, the voice pattern changing slightly to fit the situation at hand. "As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact. The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in _subject from town here._" The voice at the end changing, Owen blinking.

"So these two put together are worth more than us hacking off Jacks limbs over and over for medical science? Seriously, that guy'd never stop giving!" Owen smirked, Tosh chuckling.

"Plus the fact he seems to have enough money from somewhere to take over the rest of the UK.." she agreed.

"They do have a point you know." Ianto said, looking to Jack curiously, him starting to look a little off. "Where do you get all the money from?"

"Government." He said, not looking happy about the subject.

"Jack, you can't have all that sort of money just from the government, that's insane robbery of the British finances! No wonder we're in this much debt!"

"All I'm saying is as long as they're giving it to us instead of Trident, we're safe."

"Huh?"

"No, said too much already." Jack said, concentrating back on watching Tosh and Owen. They'd missed a bit of the show with the short discussion, but it didn't seem like they'd missed too much. They'd already gotten the key part of the level in the other portal gun, so all that was left was find the elevator and move out, and that's what they'd seemed to have done, the two of them next to each other in the elevator, moving up to test chamber 12.


End file.
